My Blog No. 16
The Art of CONVERSATION
Conversation implies verbal
interaction between two individuals; quite often not known to each other
earlier. There may be no purpose of conversation or it may be for pleasure or
may be for whiling away time or even for taking it as an opportunity for
furthering personal or business interests.
Conversation takes place mostly
while travelling or waiting. During travel by air or by road it may take place
between co-passengers and while waiting, may be at airport or hotel or
conference venue, or for an appointment with a doctor, consultant or senior
government official etc.
The art of conversation can be
cultivated, first, by observing the behaviour i.e. approach, style and content,
of good conversationalists and later through practice.
It is a prerequisite to be
enthusiastic if one wants to learn the art of conversation. It requires study
of human behaviour, patient listening and knowing when to start and when to
stop during the conversation.
Before initiating or opening a
dialogue one should observe the gestures, postures, behaviour and what exactly
the other person is doing. The other person may be reading a newspaper or a
magazine or watching television or may be busy on telephone all the time or may
be this individual is also looking around for some one to talk with. The period
of observation could be keeping in mind the time which both the individuals are
likely to spend at the same place. For example during air travel the likely
time to be spent as co-passenger may vary from one to four hours and some times
more in international flights, in train travel it may be more than four hours
and in waiting room of a clinic it may be fifteen minutes to an hour.
Having observed one or more such
persons around, decide with whom and how to open the conversation. This will
depend obviously on the personality of the person observed, one’s observations, physical distance between two
individuals at that point of time (for example in airplane one can not converse
with a person seated five rows behind) and the expected, based on one’s
assessment, response from the other person.
Most difficult and testing part
of a conversation is its opening. Easiest topics for opening the dialogue could
be current affairs. But that may not be always
necessary. Current affairs could be relating to politics or sports or any other
flash news. One should look at the age and gender of the other person before
deciding on the topic. For example it is easiest to talk about the latest mobile apps for smart phones to a
teenager or a youngster, latest games on mobile phone to kids, helping out a
lady or an old man in handling their electronic gadget like I pad or smart
phone. In air travel, say by business class, one could initiate the talk on
economy or some thing from National Geographic or Time magazine etc. The
opening of a dialogue could be with a query, which is most common. Quite often
one tests the water by asking questions relating to destination, if travelling
or enquiring about the locality in which the other person stays etc. The
response to such questions helps to decide the speed and style of further
communication. With a lady, easier course could be to open the dialogue by guarded
admiration of may be her dress, the make up or personal accessories like watch
or purse or jewelry. One has to be careful in terms of the age difference
between the two parties getting into conversation. Conversation can begin with introducing
one self and offering a business card if the situation so demands. This is more
likely with seasoned conversationalists.
It is rare but one should be
ready for a rebuff from the other side.
The beauty of the conversation
lies in taking the conversation to higher levels, consistently, possibly
resulting into friendship or new relationships. This requires probing and
grasping the interest of the other person and keeping the conversation on track
to sustain the interest of the other person in the interaction. Interruptions
of any kind provide opportunity for changing the topic. One should also learn
to change the topic quickly where one does not have interest or knowledge. Boasting of self will bring the conversation
to a quick close.
Proof of good conversation is
that it ends only when the parting time comes. Conversation should normally end
with niceties like exchange of visiting cards or shaking hands or saying bye. It
is at this point of time that both the parties decide to continue or not to
continue the relationship in future. These days it may simply end up by on - the
- spot exchange of friend request on Face Book etc. Professionals may catch up
with and get connected on linkedin, blogger and twitter etc.
Conversation can be developed as
an art for personal pleasure and advancement by being enthusiastic, by being a
careful observer and through practice.
It can bring about unexpected
windfalls at times.
Happy Conversing!!!!